Vikki the Vet Diagnoses Dione the Duck
Dione the Duck is a blue-billed teal duck.
Not to be confused with a blue-bill duck.
Both the blue-billed teal duck and the male blue-bill duck have blue bills.
But neither the male nor the female blue-bill duck has teal feathers on its back near its butt.
The blue-billed teal duck is also called a Hottentot teal.
A Hottentot teal is a dabbling duck as opposed to a diving duck.
Dabbling ducks duck their heads just below the surface of the water.
But diving ducks dive much deeper than that.
Some people think Dione the Hottentot teal is Dutch.
But Dione the Duck is not a Dutch duck.
Hottentot teals are actually from Africa.
Dione the Duck lives in Quebec.
Dione the Duck is a Quebecois duck.
Quebecois means Canadian French, not France French.
Dione the Duck is a domesticated duck.
And she’s a diva!
That is, Dione the Duck is a celebrated singer.
She has quite the cute quack.
It is simply divine.
Dione the Duck has a manager, and his name is Mack Mallard.
Mack Mallard often takes Dione the Duck on tour.
Dione, the singing sensation, likes to go on tour and demonstrate how well she can sing.
While on tour in Virginia, Mr. Mallard noticed that something was wrong with Dione the Duck’s warble.
“I believe some malady has befallen Dione the Duck,” Mack Mallard mused to himself.
So Mack Mallard took Dione the Duck to Vikki the Vet’s Veterinary Clinic.
“Hello. How can I help you?” asked Vikki the Vet.
“Hello,” said Mack Mallard.
“This is Dione the Duck, and I am concerned about her quack.”
“What’s your concern?” asked Vikki the Vet.
“Dione’s singing is starting to sound scratchy,” said Mack Mallard.
“I think she is catching a cold.”
After her initial examination of Dione, the blue-billed teal duck, Vikki the Vet turned around and talked with Mack Mallard.
“This duck’s throat is inflamed,” said Vikki the Vet.
Then she asked, “How is Dione’s appetite?
Is she eating like normal?”
“I am not sure,” answered Mack Mallard.
“Dione has always just pecked at her food.”
“Well, her throat certainly is swollen,” Vikki the Vet said with certitude.
“It could be a cold,” continued Vikki the Vet.
“But she is also starting to show some more serious symptoms.
I am seeing the early signs of strep throat.
So I am going to take a throat culture.
The throat culture test will tell us if Dione the Duck has strep throat.”
“What’s the difference between a cold and strep throat?” Mack Mallard asked.
“Viruses cause colds,” answered Vikki the Vet.
“While Streptococcus bacteria cause strep throat.”
“And what’s the difference between bacteria and a virus?” asked Mack.
“There are all kinds of differences—but the biggie is:
bacteria are living organisms, and viruses aren’t.
Viruses only exist inside the cells of living things.
Therefore, viruses need a host to survive.”
“I understand,” said Mack Mallard.
“It will take me two days to get the results from this throat culture swab,” continued Vikki the Vet.
“In the meantime and in-between time, that’s it; Dione shouldn’t sing.”
“Goodness gracious,” muttered Mack Mallard.
“Dione the Duck is supposed to sing in the chorus at a Christmas concert tonight.”
“You need to cancel her concert commitment,” said Vikki the Vet.
“Are you sure!” Mack Mallard managed.
“It doesn’t really matter whether it’s an oncoming cold or the start of strep throat, either way; this duck needs some downtime.”
“But Dione the Duck loves to perform,” said Mack Mallard.
“I think she would prefer to just power through.”
“Now, I appreciate Dione’s passion, but this isn’t a choice between the devil and the deep blue sea.
If Dione has strep throat and she continues to sing she could suffer serious harm.
And on top of that, strep throat is highly contagious.
It’s not quarantine contagious, but it’s still quite contagious.
And neither people nor poultry should go to concerts if they’re contagious.”
“Understood,” Mack Mallard acquiesced.
“Alright. Now take care of Dione the Duck and call me if any of her symptoms get significantly worse,” counselled Vikki the Vet.
“Otherwise, I will call you in two days’ time, and we will go over the results from Dione’s throat culture test.”
“Thank you for your help,” Mack Mallard said as he put on his coat.
“Be good,” said Vikki the Vet.
— epilogue —
Vikki the Vet called Mack Mallard two days later, and their call went something like this:
“So what’s the diagnosis, doctor?” asked Mack Mallard.
“Dione the Duck does indeed have strep throat,” confirmed Vikki the Vet.
“So I’ve written her a prescription for an antibiotic.
Now be sure to follow the instructions on the prescription.
And make sure that Dione the Duck gets plenty of fluids and lots of bed rest.”
“Anything else?” asked Mack Mallard.
“If you do those three things, Dione the Duck should be fine in one week’s time.”
“Thanks again for your assistance,” said Mack Mallard.
“Good luck, to you and your duck,” said Vikki the Vet as she signed off.