Vikki the Vet Warns Woodrow the Woodpecker
“Good morning,” said the man as he walked into Vikki the Vet’s Veterinary Clinic.
“Good morning,” said Vikki the Vet’s assistant Wanda.
“I have an appointment to see Vikki the Vet.”
“Would you be Waldo?” asked Wanda.
“I would be,” answered Waldo.
“So then that’s Woodrow, your woodpecker,” said a smiling Wanda.
“It is!” Waldo said as he smiled.
“Okay. I’ll let Vikki the Vet know you are here.”
“In the meantime, you can wait in an exam room,” said Wanda as she walked Woodrow and Waldo down the hall.
Then Wanda went into the back and notified Vikki the Vet:
As Wanda walked back to the front desk Waldo poked his head out the door.
“Excuse me,” said Waldo.
“Can you watch Woodrow while I go to the washroom?”
“Of course,” answered Wanda.
So Wanda watched Woodrow while Waldo went to the washroom.
While Waldo was gone Vikki the Vet waltzed into exam room one.
“Where’s Waldo?” Vikki the Vet asked Wanda.
“He went to the washroom,” answered Wanda.
When Waldo returned Vikki the Vet introduced herself.
“Hello. I am Vikki the Vet.”
“Waldo. Waldo Wilson,” said Waldo.
“So, I understand that you drove in from Washington,” said Vikki the Vet.
“Just west of Washington,” Waldo answered.
“And what is it that you do just west of Washington?”
“I’m a part-time poet and a full-time farmer.”
“That’s an interesting combination,” said Vikki the Vet.
“What type of poetry do you write?”
“Mostly pastoral poetry,” answered Waldo.
“I’ve tried to write blank verse, but I’m no William Wordsworth.”
“And then I decided Walt Whitman was where it was at.”
“But free verse isn’t easy either.”
“So I took the age-old advice:
Write what you know.
And walnuts are what I know.”
“Pardon?” asked a perplexed Vikki the Vet.
“I live on Walnut Pond.”
“You live on Walden Pond!?”
“No.”
“Walnut Pond.”
“And I’m a walnut farmer.”
“You grow walnuts?”
“Of course not.”
“I grow the trees and harvest the walnuts.”
“And I also work with WWOOF,” Waldo added.
“What’s WWOOF?” asked Vikki the Vet.
WWOOF is an acronym for Worldwide Opportunities on Organic Farms.
“So you’re a WWOOFer?”
“I was a WWOOFer when I was younger,” Waldo answered.
“I WWOOFed my way all around the world when I was in my twenties.”
“Now I own an orchard, so I’m a WWOOF host.”
“What is it that WWOOF actually does?” asked Vikki the Vet.
“WWOOF hosts are people like me who own organic farms.”
“And we invite people that are interested in our organic operations to work part-time on our farms to learn about what we do.”
“They’re the WWOOFers.”
“So they’re part-time workers?”
“Yes and no.”
WWOOFers work part-time on the farm for the exchange of room and board.
But WWOOFing isn’t about mere manual labour.
The idea is for organic farmers to educate and inspire the next generation so that they can pay it forward in the future.
“On my farm I teach the WWOOFers what’s what with walnuts and watermelons.”
“You also harvest watermelons!”
“Well, first I have to grow them!”
“But yes, I also harvest watermelons.”
“Waldo, I feel a headache coming on,” said Vikki the Vet.
“That’s why I’m here,” said Waldo.
“To give me a headache,” Vikki the Vet thought to herself.
But what she said was, “Why’s that?”
And Waldo answered, “I think Woodrow the Woodpecker is getting headaches.”
After a couple of questions Vikki the Vet learnt that Waldo had a hickory grove on his property.
“I think I know what Woodrow’s problem is,” said Vikki the Vet.
“What’s that?” said Waldo.
“Hickory is too hard on his head,” said Vikki the Vet.
“Hickory is the hardest hardwood there is.”
“And hammering on that hickory is what’s giving Woodrow headaches.”
“Well, I can’t have Woodrow wailing on my walnut trees,” Waldo responded.
“Why don’t you find Woodrow a nice hemlock,” suggested Vikki the Vet.
“I don’t have any hemlock.”
“Any elm trees?”
“I do own some elm.”
“Alright then,” said Vikki the Vet.
“Why don’t you transfer some insects onto an elm tree and see if Woodrow warms to some new trees.”
“Will do,” said Waldo.
“Good luck with your WWOOFers,” Vikki the Vet said to Waldo.
“And no more hitting your head on hickory,” Vikki the Vet said as she waved her finger at Woodrow the Woodpecker.
“Thank you,” said Waldo.
And then he walked away with his woodpecker Woodrow.
“A Word to the Wise” a haiku by Vikki the Vet
A word to the wise
What fall can cause a headache
Oncoming autumn
“Protect Your Coconut” a limerick by Vikki the Vet
Hitting your head could give you a concussion,
and that could have a long lasting repercussion.
So protect your brain
to avoid all that pain.
And that really isn’t even open to discussion.