Vikki the Vet Visits a Zoo

Vikki the Vet is friends with Zachary Zadig.

Zachary Zadig’s father was a French philosopher.

And his mother was a Persian princess.

Not to be confused with a Parisian princess.

If you’re a Parisian, you are from Paris.

While Persians are from Persia.

That is, Persians are Iranians.

Zachary Zadig and Vikki the Vet went to university together.

Zachary Zadig is a zoologist.

And a zoologist is an expert in zoology.

Zoology is all about classification!

There are billions of organisms on the planet.

And zoologists use the taxonomic system to organize all of the organisms into categories.

Are you?

a) an animal

b) a bacteria

p) a plant

And if you are:

a) an animal

Do you have a backbone?

Because if you do, you are a vertebrate.

And if you don’t, you are an invertebrate.

Not to be confused with inveterate.

Although … I guess an inveterate liar is also an invertebrate because an inveterate liar doesn’t have a backbone either.

And if you are a vertebrate, are you?

a) an amphibian

b) a bird

c) a fish

d) a reptile

e) a mammal

And on, and on, and on, zoologists go!

After several years in the field, Zachary was starting to find taxonomy taxing … so Zachary Zadig opened a petting zoo.

Most, but not all, of Zachary’s animals are rescued animals.

Zachary’s zoo is called Zachary’s Zany Petting Zoo.

And as for animals, Zachary’s Zany Petting Zoo has:

one ox,

two turkeys,

a couple of cows,

four quarter horses,

five ferrets,

six sheep,

seven Shetland ponies,

eight alpaca,

a bevy of larks,

a bunch of butterflies,

a row of rabbits,

a dozen dogs,

and an assortment of other animals.

The stars of Zachary’s zoo are his three z’s:

His zebra.

His zorse.

And his zonkey.

Now a zebra is a zebra, and you all know what that is.

But did you know a zorse is a zebra crossed with a horse of course, of course?

Or that a zonkey is a zebra crossed with a donkey.

Vikki the Vet has come out to vaccinate Zachary Zadig’s animals.

Vikki the Vet is vaccinating Zachary’s animals against zoonotic diseases.

Zoonotic diseases are diseases that animals can transfer to people.

Diseases such as:

bird flu, glanders, and the Zika virus.

And if you own a petting zoo, not passing on diseases is probably – in fact, certainly – a high priority.

Before she began vaccinating, Vikki the Vet visited with Zachary.

“Hello, old friend,” said Vikki the Vet as she got out of her Volvo.

“Good to see you,” said a smiling Zach.

As they walked around the area Vikki the Vet asked Zachary, “How did you decide to open a petting zoo?”

“I don’t know. Fate, I guess,” was Zachary Zadig’s answer.

And then Vikki the Vet said, “I see you’ve got a zip-line.”

“You’ll have to give it a go this afternoon.”

“Unless you’d rather go zorbing.”

“What’s zorbing?”

“That’s zorbing,” said Zachary as he pointed at a boy in a big ball who was bouncing down the hill.

“Zip-line it is,” laughed Vikki the Vet.

When it came time to vaccinate the animals Zachary introduced Vikki the Vet to his three z’s.

“This is Zoe the Zebra.”

“Zane Grey the Zorse.”

“And Ziggy the Zonkey.”

“Ziggy?”

“As in:

Ziggy Zonkey Ziggy Zonkey Oi Oi Oi!”

“Pardon me?” asked a confused Vikki the Vet.

“You’ve never heard the saying: ‘Ziggy Zaggy Ziggy Zaggy Oi Oi Oi!'”

“What in the world is that?” asked a confounded Vikki the Vet.

“I guess you’ll have to look it up someday,” said Zachary with a cryptic smile.

“Now I know why you’ve opened a zoo!” said Vikki the Vet.

“All that taxonomy has sent you around the bend!”

“Rude!” said Zachary Zadig with a smile.

“Joking!” said Vikki Vega, the vegetarian veterinarian, with a wink.